Steps

Dear Gideon,

Since becoming your mom - perhaps even as early as your first year - I realized that every day of your childhood is a step you take away from me and your dad.  Every day - even as a baby - you are learning things that will help you grow and understand the world and become independent.  I remind myself of this not to be a downer, but to remember to be present, treasure the little moments, keep perspective and realize the proverbial "this too shall pass" applies for just about all the crises, disruptions, inexplicable detours we face.

Those steps just got a little bigger today, as you stepped up those big stairs into the bus on your way to your first day of kindergarten.  As I've contemplated this milestone the past few days, I've realized that one day, if your dad and I do a good job, you will leave us.  And while I'm mostly sure by the time that happens it will seem like the natural next step, right now, my heart is full and overflowing and sad to think about that day.  Honestly, it kind of seems like a rotten deal - do a good job and lose one of the most important things in your life.  Parenthood is not for the faint of heart.

The house is so quiet already.  As I put Graham down for his morning nap, I didn't have to close the door and turn on the humidifier to block your distracting, disrupting, usually-annoying noises.  And I felt just a little bit lonely.  Graham and I will be eagerly awaiting you at the bus stop this afternoon.  Cannot wait to hear about your day...

Socks with the sandals were his idea and he would
not be dissuaded by either me or his dad.

At the bus stop

Yes, I'm hovering.

And he's gone.